Happy Valentines To You, Single Mama

It’s Valentine’s Day! The day of cupid, love, and lots of pink & red. Also, a day that reminds you of your divorced or newly single status… (As if you need another reminder, right??)

For me last year, the holiday loomed up in front of me like a red flag (or open heart surgery). I was one month into my new, grief filled life: ringless, husbandless, and a newly single mom. I was devastated, angry, and still in shock over what my then husband had done to me and to our family.

But that morning, on February 14th, the dreaded day of love arrived even when I wished it wouldn’t. I got out of bed with a broken and depressed heart, feeling quite sorry for myself. I went downstairs and opened my front door to find the best surprise…..a basket full of goodies that a group of my girlfriends had put together for me. It included cards, beauty masks, candy, and truly: Love, lots of love!  

I burst into happy tears at this sweet and unexpected gift. At a time in my life when I felt so unloved and so heartbroken over the loss of my marriage, this gift was like a life preserver tossed into my sea of despair. This small gesture is something I will never forget. Not because of the gifts so much (although they were amazing), but because of the thoughtfulness. Because my friends who, despite their own busy lives with small children, deployed husbands, and all of life’s craziness, had thought about me and how I might need a small gift of love on that specific day.

So why am I sharing this? Because I know how much this day can be a huge reminder of being single, of being alone, and of feeling unloved. Yes, it’s a silly holiday, and yes, it’s no big deal once you are married. But for the first time in a long time, Valentines Day in 2019 was a big deal for me. It was a painful reminder that I’d been betrayed, and the love and stability that I thought I’d have forever with my husband, was gone. 

So this year, Valentine’s Day is different.

 I’ve healed, I’m happy. I’ve been blessed with so much and given new chances in life and in love. And you know what my Valentines plans are this year?

Pizza with my fellow divorced #galentine and our three crazy kiddos!

Time has a way of healing wounds, and friendship is one type of glue that helps us piece our broken heart back together.

So if this year’s Valentine’s Day has you feeling blue and bummed out, and hating every IG post and happy family out there, remember that each year brings something new and different. If I can get through it, you will too. Because I’ve walked that path of loss, of devastation, and if I’ve realized one thing, it’s that love comes in many forms. Love is not just between a husband and wife, it’s also between family, friends and children.

So I may have been unlucky in love last year (and that’s putting it very lightly), but I know I’m lucky in love this year. No, I may not have a husband or a boyfriend, but I have the love of so many close friends and family, and the love of my amazing children.

And for me this year- that’s more than enough!

So happy Valentines Day to you. You are awesome. You are strong. And you are loved!