The bomb that dropped on my white picket fence…
Well it took a crazy upset to shake things up and push me in a new direction. What was that upset, you ask? Divorce. Well, infidelity…and then divorce. The infidelity was like a bomb landing on my life back on December 23rd. Divorce was the path I chose, and I chose it to walk away from the all consuming mushroom of smoke and debris that had become my life. Walking away, and choosing a new path turned me in the right direction when I was so disoriented, I didn’t know up from down. It allowed me to breath, to focus on moving forward, and moving away from something so broken that it had no hope of being repaired.
Prior to this, my life was pretty ordinary. Married, two kids, planning for more, even the infamous white picket fence! Divorce was something I generally thought happened to other people, but definitely not me. I truly believed that once we married and had the wedding and children, it was forever. I thought we would venture through life together as a team, ticking off anniversaries, and weathering the ups and downs of each year side by side. I thought I was secure in the fact that we both were christian, that we seemed to have similar values, even that we married in a church with a pastor – a true commitment between husband and wife that would last through all the ups and downs. (Note a bit of sarcasm here). I mean, it should be, that was in our wedding vows, right? I felt comfortable, the type of comfort found in wearing my fluffy (but ugly) pink bathrobe in the morning. I felt fine walking around the house with smeared eye makeup, or a giant zit, knowing that my husband loved me no matter what. That was marriage, right? You found the person you loved, the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Then you married them, had babies, and stuck with each other through thick and thin. The end. Except in my case, it wasn’t. It only turned out to be the first chapter of my book…
It was only two days before Christmas when the belief I’d held about my marriage was ripped to shreds, crushed into a ball and tossed out the window. Oh, and then a trash truck drove by and ran over it. Got a visual in your head? This was not a “we didn’t get along, everyone saw this coming” type of divorce. Not that those are much easier, I’d venture to guess. But no one is immune from divorce, that’s what I’ve learned this year. No marriage is immune, or rock solid just because you took vows. It’s up to each person, each day, to choose to honor their wedding vows.
Why don’t we learn more about the amount of work it takes to make a marriage work, before we jump into marriage? Where is the preparation for stepping into this unique role as a wife, or a husband? We think we know about marriage by watching our parents. But as kids, we don’t understand the intricacies of what makes some marriages endure for a lifetime, and so many others fail after just a few years.
So I’ll end it here, because to sum it up, divorce is messy, not recommended, but also is the unfortunate end to many marriages. And the path I’m leading you down is only a glimpse of how and why I walked away from a toxic mushroom of smoke and debris. Onward, fellow readers! But remember, stay cute on your journey….and make sure that if you are headed down a new path, your shoes have #support. You’re going to need it.
