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Getting Along With Your Ex & Why It Actually IS Important
Last year I read all these books that said fighting with your ex causes extreme emotional damage to children. It annoyed me, to say the least! While I definitely didn’t want to hurt my kids, the thought of dealing with my ex-husband on a weekly basis, did not put a smile on my face. It made me recoil in anger and disgust. Yet here I am, smiling at him, saying hi, and occasionally making small talk during pickups and drop offs. Why do I do this? Because of my kids. They didn’t ask for this, and it’s not their fault. Their life has been disrupted enough, and they don’t need…
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Dating after Divorce: Take 2
Dating is similar to a moth around a flame. The moth may get burned a few times, but despite the burn, he still can’t resist that bright, shining light of (potential) love! Sound familiar? Yep, most of us get burned a few times looking for love. But hopefully we eventually find the one that allows the flame of love to keep shining strong and never burn out. And since most everyone is looking for a relationship (or something along those lines), everyone enters the dating game at some point in their lives. Some of us are just extra lucky and get to re-enter the dating scene after divorce. Yes, all…
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Happy Valentines To You, Single Mama
It’s Valentine’s Day! The day of cupid, love, and lots of pink & red. Also, a day that reminds you of your divorced or newly single status… (As if you need another reminder, right??) For me last year, the holiday loomed up in front of me like a red flag (or open heart surgery). I was one month into my new, grief filled life: ringless, husbandless, and a newly single mom. I was devastated, angry, and still in shock over what my then husband had done to me and to our family. But that morning, on February 14th, the dreaded day of love arrived even when I wished it wouldn’t.…
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8 Lessons I’ve Learned as a Single Mom
Well, it’s the last day of 2019, and yes, that’s me on a motorcycle. A Harley Davidson to be specific! There’s a first time for everything, friends! One year ago I was sobbing my eyes out, mourning the loss of my marriage, of my future dreams, and of a life that I felt had been unfairly snatched away from me. So as I look back on the changes that occurred this year, I thought it wise to share what I’ve learned. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I used to worry about things that were honestly, not a huge deal. Worrying over things that didn’t ever come to fruition was a…
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An unfortunate reality
“Infidelity threatens our sense of self…A violation of trust.” ~Esther Perel, Rethinking Infidelity, Ted Talk If you have ever watched Esther Perel’s Ted Talk, you may remember this quote. She tells us that affairs in the past were discovered by “a receipt in the pants pocket, or lipstick on the collar”. Yet now, the discovery of an affair is usually through technology. And what ensues is a digital trail of emails, text messages, and pictures, that span the length of the affair and reveal the intimate thoughts of both people involved. It is truly what she calls “death by a thousand cuts”. Almost a year ago, I discovered my husband’s…
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A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
Is honesty important to you? It is to me. So sometimes I scratch my head and wonder how I didn’t see the web of lies that complicated my marriage for years. In hindsight, I see so much more. But when you are standing in the middle of something, your view is skewed, and it’s almost impossible to see the truth for what it is. False information. Made up stories. Excuses. It’s hard to fit the puzzle pieces together because they don’t fit. Lies built up on more lies. You know the saying, a wolf in sheep’s clothing? It’s pretty accurate….Yes, liars can portray themselves as the most honest, charming, stand…
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The “first year” holidays – surviving & creating my NEW path
I was caught off guard this year when realizing how difficult each holiday would be after separating from my husband. (The first few holidays were incredibly emotional: Valentines Day, Easter, Mother’s Day. All of those holidays that you take for granted when you’re married. They all changed for me this year, and became huge reminders of how different my life is now that I’m getting divorced. Last week was Halloween, another holiday when custody and holiday schedules get complicated. Thankfully I had this kids this year and was able to take them trick or treating, although that won’t happen every year. I can’t even get started on that thought right…
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5 tips to survive (and then thrive) while grieving the loss of your marriage:
After finding out about an affair, you probably feel like your heart has been ripped apart. Your entire body is in pain. Emotionally and physically, you are in shock. Each morning you wake up thinking it was only a nightmare, and then it hits you that this is your life. If you were like me, you couldn’t eat for weeks because your stomach had tightened into a solid rock. Emotionally, you are a wreck, caught between anger, hurt, fear, and shock. Survive? Maybe. Thrive? Doubtful. I promise you, though, it gets easier. Because ten months ago, I was in your shoes. I didn’t think that the pain would go away.…
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Divorce Care
If you haven’t heard of Divorce Care, check it out here. The purpose of Divorce Care is to provide help and healing throughout and after divorce. Groups meetings are hosted at local churches and some groups even offer child care through a special group called “Divorce Care 4 Kids”.
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Divorce & the Holidays: Q&A with author and life expert Liz Pryor
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Figuring out Happy
Fun. It’s what I rediscovered about myself after I became a single mom. I’m still fun! Weird, but let me explain. I felt bogged down, anxious, like there was something wrong but I couldn’t put my finger on it. So I chalked it up to parenting. (Kids can truly suck the life out of us, right?!) . But why? I honestly had no clue why I just couldn’t relax. I guess it’s intuition that tells us when something is wrong, but we are mostly just trying to get through the day without accidents or meltdowns, so we don’t have the sense to stop and we can’t put our finger on…
